Some people....

SOME PEOPLE

Some people have some really funny questions to ask. As a journalist, I find these really funny. They make me wonder, are these questions the fruits of an over-active imagination or just sheer boredom? Are they serious?

In the case of some, they are purposefully funny. In some other cases, trust me, they're serious questions.

So, while waiting for my next series of interviews on life, love, sex and infidelity - the man's point of view - here are some questions, that I will not be asking :

-If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?

Well...Even with the best imagination...I'm not sure. Maybe red. This is, of course, that smurfs need oxygen to breathe...

-How do I dry out the marijuana that got wet when I accidently washed it in my jeans?

Ahahahaha...I wouldn't have a clue. But, if any of my readers have any answers, go right ahead.

-Do chickens explode when you feed them uncooked rice?

Where in the world does this come from?! No, of course not. No bird would, for that matter. Wait, do people actually believe this?!

-How big is a buttload?

Ahahaha...well, I guess that really depends on the person...

-How many square feet are in a decimal point?

I think more math classes are in order here...

-Why does my wife's new broomstick only fly in left hand circles she has tried changing her grip and seating to no avail please help she is getting dizzy?

If this is a serious question, I'd like to know where these people are. Broomstick?! Wife?!

-What illnesses would someone face in the future if they just recently stopped eating cement?

I'm not sure that cement is a recommended part of any diet. Also, cement in it's powder, unprepared form, or the wet stuff? And wouldn't have terrible constipation not to mention troubles with all the silicious content in cement?

-Do polar bears drink coke?

Of course they do. EVERYONE on the face of this earth does. That's how big the Coca-Cola company is.

-Can you cook a fish in a dishwater?

Goodness, that thought never occured to me, but all I know, if you invite for me dinner, I'm not going. I hope you won't be offended.

-Do people take to gnomes?

.....that wouldn't worry me too much...I'd be worried if the person thinks that the gnome is talking back to them.....

-What do sparkplugs taste like?

I wouldn't have a clue. I have no idea. I'm hoping no one does.

-Can people mutate animals to become Pokemon?

I just have one thing to say: stop the drugs. Really. Now.

-Do you smell to buy?

Buy what? Clothes? Fruit? Vegetables? Shaving cream? No. I don't.

-Which side of a fish has the most scales?

The outside.

-How do you take off your house arrest bracelet without breaking it?

Why? Are you going out on a date? Please help us Lord. Call the judge who put in on you in the first place. He has the instruction booklet. See what he says.

And there are more...so...coming in a next part.....